I never said goodbye. 

Tears streamed down my face as I sat alone in Juan-Santamaria Airport, Costa Rica. Nearby, a young child stood akimbo, staring at my emotional outburst. He tugged at his mother’s skirt, pointing in my direction.  That’s ok, I thought. People’s perceptions were irrelevant. In that moment, all I could think about was how I never said goodbye to the person who had changed my life forever…

I flicked through the photos on my phone from the wildlife center where I had been volunteering. I would likely never see or speak to him again, yet I remained determined to etch the essence of his being into my memory during these last minutes in his country.

• 

• 

• 

I peered at a photo of him feeding Memphis, the baby skunk, and smiled through my tears. That was when Adriana had introduced us. “This is Josué,” she had said. “You will work together on behavioral enrichment for the animals.” We were both timid but beamed at each other in excitement.

Over the following days, I learned that Josué was an exceptionally gifted and intelligent veterinary student. I learned this passively, of course, as he was the very definition of the word “humility.” After working primarily with attorneys, Josué’s nature was refreshing. I always eagerly tried to prolong our conversations.

His rapport with the animals was so similar to the connection I shared with my own parrots. It touched me when we bonded over this during our coffee breaks. To him, these animals were not just creatures of the jungle — they were individuals with souls. Each one was unique, each one deserved respect, and in turn, his relationship with each of them was awe-inspiring. 

I sat in the airport, recounting his thoughtful questions and genuine compliments. His kindness and love extended beyond the animals, to me.  He appreciated the things about me that I most love about myself… the things I felt no one ever recognized.  

He did not judge me for being a hard worker; unlike others, he never alienated me by labeling me a “nerd” or telling me “to relax.” Instead, we worked on projects together, and in doing so, he overcame my shyness and learned that I strive to fill my life with silliness.  He saw the unique passion with which I love and care for my family, friends, and animals – always trying to be the glue that holds everyone together.  He gently asked questions about my feelings that illuminated how sacrifices and struggles of my past influence my present.  Most importantly, he was the first person (besides me) who I felt did not define me with a particular label.  To Josué, I was an attorney, a writer, a parrot expert, and a scientist all at once… I was still becoming me, and in his eyes, I could become anything. 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

My last day volunteering, Josué arranged for me to join his team that would release a coyote back into the wild.  It was a privilege to be included in this experience, and I sensed he realized how meaningful it would be to me.  Unfortunately, the coyote’s tranquilizers started wearing off sooner than anticipated; I was fifteen minutes away, feeding the pizotes housed at the other edge of the center’s property.  Josué had to leave and complete the release without me… and I never had the chance to thank him or say goodbye.

I was stirred out of my reflective reverie at the airport by my phone, chiming in my hand.  I glanced down, and my heart lifted.  It was a message from Josué.

It is a year later now. We still have not said goodbye.